- Mon Feb 22, 2021 2:03 am
#7666
It has been so long since I took up a pen to write something down. Far too long in fact. But there is a reason for that.
I do not rightfully know why I am even writing any of this. For posterity? Who can say. All I know is that I am so very, very deeply troubled by more recent events. Personal events, that is. Something that is affecting me. An ailment or a curse. Or insanity of a quantity beyond measure.
It began one day as I woke up from what I could only describe as restless, fitful sleep. Upon awakening I discovered a most tedious fact. My clothes were gone. My lovely, quilted jacket of gold and yellow was nowhere to be seen. Neither were my flawless, puffy pants inside the room. But, another set of clothes lay neatly arranged atop the nightstand. Somewhat regal in colour in their own way, the design more practical yet still elegant. I tried them on and they seemed to fit my person, perfectly. However, I had no recollection of making such a change in my wardrobe. Why would I? Yet as the day was beginning, I had no choice but to don the vestments.
It was during the moment of grabbing hold of "my" new cloak that I was struck by some malady of horrid visions. As I turned the cloak around, I gazed upon a detailed embroidery of a crown. And then it happened. I began to shake uncontrollably. First my hands and then my legs. So much so that the cloak fell from my hands as I stumbled back and were forced to sit down on the bed, my gaze fixated on that accursed image of a crown. I could not tear my eyes away from it, even as I wished to do so with all my being.
Vertigo took hold of me then, a feeling of nausea and passing out. Voices began to sing all around me. A strange, disconcerting lullaby. So strange were the words that their meaning eluded me completely, like a foreign language. I closed my eyes and tried to focus, to calm myself and fight against the rising wave of ill inside me. But even in the pitch dark of my now sightless eyes I was visited by an image.
I saw the crown of pale gold like the first rays of a chill morning sun. Five spikes lay atop the crown, each in the form of a garbed woman. To my amazement I saw the women slowly writhe as they silently wept. Then my gaze was drawn to the center of the crown, where a large jewel I could only describe as an emerald, burned with a disheartening glow of balefire like some unknown, distant star.
But more horrendous, still, was the head that bore the crown. I know not whether what I gazing at was some insidious mask or a perversion of a man's face, but it moved and stretched abnormally, thousands upon thousands of emotions dancing on its surface, shifting and changing in some bizarre dance of mimicry or mockery. It was then I felt a penetrating and soul-searing gaze fix upon myself, and I dared (or were forced?) to meet that gaze. But I only saw black pits staring at me in return. Two blots of void that still held a gaze of unfathomable power. Even as I finally felt my mind reeling and oblivion take me, I felt a promise in the abyss of those eyes. A promise of nothing, an end to an endless cycle.
I awoke again, later in the day. The clothes were once again piled neatly atop the nightstand, but I still lay on the bed the way I had fallen onto it when the seizure had taken hold. It was already late afternoon, so, confused, I walked out to join he others for the incursion into the Ceaseless City.
Still, I am both haunted by that queer apparition and fascinating by what it can promise. And I cannot shake the strange words of that lullaby from my mind.